Tuesday, 14 July 2009
Last week, I started getting strange sensations in my right thumb. I didn't think anything of it at the time, just that it was uncomfortable. Then on Friday I started getting numb sensations throughout my right hand. It was the same numbness that I had when I had my relapse in March/April. So then the alarm bells started ringing.
I decided to ignore it and see if anything happened over the weekend, or maybe it would just go away.
Who was I kidding?
Over the weekend the numbness started spreading up the underside of my right arm. By Monday it was throughout the right side of my back and beginning to go down my right leg.
I went into work on Monday, not having rung the nurse. I just thought if I gave it one more day it might be different.
I had a bit of a melt down at work, because I was struggling a lot to just do my job. Also, I suppose, the fact that I hadn't rung the nurse was playing on my mind. After a chat to a friend, who is also our section leader, I realised that I was being silly and that I had to call the nurse. She also made me realise that I need to look after myself at the moment and she arranged for me to have the rest of the week off. I was stressing about losing my job, but she assured me that my job will still be there!
After not being able to get hold of the nurse yesterday, I managed to speak to her today. She has said that it is a relapse, but, the positive thing is that it's not new symptoms. That means that it's probably not a new lot of inflammation. A positive!
I have decided to hold off on the steroid route for now. I have already had two lots of steroids this year and I'm concerned about the consequences of having too many courses of steroids. Especially when they don't always have a great outcome for me. They also make me feel so bad that I have to weigh up the benefit of having it or not.
The problem with not having the steroid treatment is, that it means I am not doing anything to help overcome this relapse. I feel like I am stuck in a no win situation.
I currently have numbness throughout my right side. My hand and arm are the worst feeling. It is as though I have a big glove over my hand making it feel twice the size that it really is. It is the weirdest sensation. It hasn't gone up into my head yet though, so hopefully it will stay that way.
The nurse is going to speak to my consultant to fill him in and then she will get back to me and we will go from there.
It is incredibly frustrating and pretty scary.
It's amazing how this disease can knock you sideways in the space of a few days. That is one of things that is so hard to express to people. Obviously no-one knows what is around the corner, but that uncertainty is even greater when MS is part of the equation.
I am determined that it's not going to get the better of me. I will give myself some time to rest and try and get through this relapse as quickly as possible.
At least it means I can sit and watch the second Ashes test this week, without work getting in the way - see I'm looking on the positive side!!
Until I get around to writing about our day at the cricket, I thought you might like to see some photos!