So, as you can imagine, getting ready for our holiday was quite challenging! There was so much to do before we went but it was working out what was the priority that I found quite tough!
I'm my own worst enemy too because I have to do everything myself, for example, packing, I couldn't let my husband do it otherwise I'd worry that we didn't have everything so I got it all put together in piles but then I did ask one of my carers to help me with physically packing it........even that was tough going though because no one else can pack the same as you do yourself can they?!?!
I've always found looking after myself quite difficult. As children, my siblings and I were always taught to be independent and to stand on our own two feet and that is what I always tried to do. I was working two jobs when I was diagnosed and I always remember thinking, when I was signed off sick and couldn't even think about going to work, that if someone had come along and said that I couldn't work, I'd have snapped their hand off at the chance but when you are in the position where you physically can't go to work it's a totally different feeling. I guess because the decision has been taken out of my hands. Because I physically can't do the work and being in pain and having fatigue that means I can't keep my eyes open no matter how hard I try, the decision is actually taken out of my hands. I haven't sat back and thought "you know what, I'm not going to bother working any more" it's been a case of "you can't work anymore" it makes all the difference in mentally accepting the situation you are in.