I'm seeing my pain consultant on Monday so I'll be able to ask him what's going on.
The thing that I'm afraid of is that he'll tell me to just come off these drugs on my own at home & I really don't want to do that.
I do want to carry on with this. I'm desperate to get these drugs out of my system so that we can see where we go with it. I have eternal hope that, even if I end up going back on these drugs, I'll be able to go on them at a lower dose.
One thing he picked up on is how I've already decided in my head what my pain consultant is going to say, what the outcome is going to be and that it's not going to be what I want to hear. I have nothing to back this up though of course!
It was interesting because I said how I felt that I was being a coward because I didn't feel I could just get on & do this at home, but he said I should have more compassion for myself.
That took me aback - how many of us really have compassion for ourselves?
We had a good discussion & I do understand what he's saying but putting into practice could be more difficult!
Being hard on myself is what I do best! ;-)