Thursday, 25 June 2009
I have had a frustrating day today.
We both had the day off today because we had bought tickets to go and see our "local" cricket team - Somerset - at Taunton. We also got up earlyish because Glamorgan were putting some more tickets for the first Ashes test on sale at 9am. We decided that we wanted to try and get some tickets for the second day of the test. That meant getting up to try and beat the rush online.
We were successful and have got tickets for that test match in Cardiff. So that was a good start!
But because I had woken myself up, to do this (we needed to do this together so that we could agree on tickets!), I felt pretty sluggish. We had to pop into town, which we did, but when we got back, I knew I needed to have a rest if I was going to manage to go to Taunton. I had a good hour's nap, but I was still feeling pretty slow when I woke up.
I was also experiencing pain in my hands. This has been happening a lot lately. I am wondering if the heat is affecting me, whatever it is that is causing this pain, I wish it would stop. The pain is something that is so hard to describe. It is constant and very wearing and no-one can see it. And it appears that nothing I do or take seems to help. Once it starts for the day, it stays.
I was getting ready to go to Taunton, when I said to Martin how annoyed I was that I felt so rubbish. He suggested that we didn't go. I was reluctant because I didn't want to let him down or spoil an event that he was looking forward to. But he said that it didn't matter and that we had the Ashes tickets to look forward to, so we would get to see some more live cricket. So we took the decision not to go. It turned out to be the right decision as the match was abandoned due to the weather!
My husband is amazing. He didn't make a fuss, in fact he made nothing of it at all, just said he could play a game on his PS3 now! He is so caring and just wants to make sure that I am OK and not pushing myself too hard. That is why I feel so frustrated. Because of me, he doesn't get to do things that he would normally want to do. And yet, he just takes it in his stride. How is that fair? I know it's because he loves me and if it was the other way around I would do the same for him, but it doesn't stop the guilt.
Anyway, tomorrow is another day. I have got work tomorrow so I am hoping I get a good night's sleep and will be able to manage OK.
I have had some success at work this week, because I have had my contract changed. I now have a contract which I believe will help me to work my full hours. On Monday's and Wednesday's I do 12 pm - 3pm which enables me to sleep on in the mornings and let myself come round before I go into work. Fridays I work 3pm - 6pm and Saturday 11am - 2pm. I have realised that the best time for me to work, when I am most awake and can achieve what I want to achieve, is between the hours of 11am and 6pm. I know this sounds like I am being choosy but it's not that. It is learning to make the most of the time I am at my fittest.
And that is tough to admit, that I know I am not fit 24 hours a day, every day of the week.
So after a rough day, where I slept on and off and tried to ignore my pain, I am off to bed. Looking forward to that new day tomorrow!