Thursday, 2 April 2009
I've finished the steroids!
At last! I am out the other end of the steroid nightmare.
It wasn't without further trauma though. I arrived at the hospital yesterday morning at 9.45am, after being awake since 3.30am. So I was in a tired and emotional state anyway. I had a horrible feeling that the vein hadn't held out because I had experienced pain throughout Tuesday evening and during the night. We took the bandage off and immediately thought that it was unlikely to hold. The nurse tried to flush it but it collapsed straight away. Both his and my heart sank. And my tears flowed. I was so disappointed. Another two attempts at cannulating later before he got one to stay in my vein, but it bled like crazy and so was very sore. For that reason he set the infusion to go through slowly, to cause as little pain as possible. It was very uncomfortable and stung like mad, but I kept telling myself it was only for that one infusion and if I could get through that it would all be over. I have a lovely ray of colourful bruises on my arms now!
I left the hospital, eventually at 1.30pm. I got home and was just in a daze. I tried to chill out but I was aware that I didn't want to go straight to sleep because I wanted to be able to sleep that night. I kept myself going until about 10pm. I don't quite know how!! I was an emotional wreck too. I guess part of it was relief that it was all over but I was also full of drugs and feeling quite out of it, so I shouldn't be that surprised that my emotions are all over the place right now.
I did manage to get some sleep last night. It was an unsettled night but sleep did come and go. We had nothing to get up for this morning either so that was nice to just wake up when we were ready.
I am determined to make the most of these four days (before I return to work), just to look after me. I am not good at putting me first but I realise that I have had a tough couple of weeks. My body has been subjected to some hefty drugs and I need to give it time to absorb that. It is quite refreshing to be so sensible, but I do feel strongly that I have not done this in the past and I want to be able to say this time that I did all I could to get maximum benefit from this treatment.
I haven't yet felt any remarkable positive turnaround. I would say that the numbness has lessened but it hasn't gone. There is definitely still residual numbness. My hearing is better though, but the pain is still about. Maybe not so forceful though. I am going to give it some more time though before I give up hope!
Thanks again to everyone for all your support. This certainly is a trying time for Martin and I and it is great to know that everyone is out there routing for us. All the advice and encouragement is very welcome. It means more than I can tell you.
Love and hugs to you all.