Monday, 13 April 2009


I went into work this morning and am very pleased with myself. 
I managed to survive my three hours and fifteen minute shift, even though I felt pretty rubbish. I have got a very sore ear, which for the last couple of days, I was convinced there was a spot in it. But I have come to the conclusion now that it may be an infection :( It is very painful and is now very red around the ear. Through my shift this morning, I also realised that my hearing has gone funny again. So guess who is going to be off top the doctors again tomorrow. 
It is a real drag to have a dodgy immune system, I never really suffered with infections and things before I was diagnosed! 
I am disappointed to say that I really don't feel that the steroids have had much of an impact on me. The numbness on my right side is still there. Not to the extent that it was a few weeks ago so I guess that is a good thing. But it hasn't gone and I really thought after two lots of steroids it might have done. I don't know why because I have never had success before but ever the optimist I always believe that this time will be different.
I actually realised something the other day. I know this sounds silly - it did when I said it to Martin, but I realised that I am ill. Obviously I have known about the MS for over six years but I have never really thought of myself as being ill. The other day though, I was sat having a quiet moment and it suddenly dawned on me. I have this illness and there isn't a damn thing I can do about it. It was a bit of a shock to come to that conclusion. How daft is that?!

We were supposed to be doing our How Apt gig on the River Dart on Saturday, but we have postponed it until August 1st. There are several advantages to that. We have more time to rehearse and hopefully in August we will have lovely weather and it will be light for longer. Of course, now that we have had a beautiful weekend, August 1st will bucket it down with rain, you just watch!! We had a rehearsal instead on Saturday, which was good fun. The next performance we have is in May at a local theatre. We are the second half of the evening, with the first half being musical theatre students doing a showcase. The second half will then be the professionals ha ha ha!! It will be good to get in another performance and I am looking forward to it again. We will have had our holiday by then, so I should be all refreshed!! 
I have managed to get out in our front garden over the past two days. Well I call it a garden but actually it's patio both front and back. We just couldn't cope with a proper garden. So we have lots of pots that I am now filling with plants. It is starting to look quite pretty. I will take some pictures tomorrow! I am really not very good at keeping plants and flowers though. I forget that they need water to keep them going!! It's a shame because both my Mum was and my Dad is very good with plants and flowers. I wish it had rubbed off on me!!
I hope everyone has been able to make the most of the long weekend, I think we have, although with doing the garden, my body is aching from head to toe now! Why do I always tackle these things thinking I am super woman??


  1. My Mother was quite ill when I was young and it too her very, very long to have the AHA I am ill moment. In a way I think that was good. But I also believe after you do realize it with such force, one of the positives of that realization is reducing much of life to the beautiful essentials. ~Mary

  2. Herrad has had a series of these moments. Even now she can be shocked to find she is ill and has to make the adjustment again. It does help her once she acknowledges that she is not being 'silly' or 'lazy' and puts the illness into the considerations for planning.

  3. How are you going to know you are not super woman unless you try? I hear wearing a cape helps.

    Hope you find some time to enjoy the garden before Mother Nature shows you who the original super woman is. I just wish she took weather requests.

    Break a leg!

  4. when i was diagnosed amelia,december before last,i was relieved.i finally knew what was wrong.then for 6 months i was in breakdown.didnt want to think abot having ms,it wasnt there,it would go away.except,it wouldnt.yes you are ill love.just because we have good days some times,just because we look ok,our immune systems are shot.(that maybe a misspell,lol)im sorry the steroids didnt help,but dont despair.keep fighting amelia,its all we can lot of ear infections about at mo.i know 5 people here with far its missed me.x