Wednesday, 18 February 2009
Pain, Pain, Pain.................
When I decided to start this blog, I was determined to be open and honest, but I didn't want to come across as whining and pessimistic.
Today though I am afraid is a down day.
I had a reasonable night's sleep but I still woke up feeling exhausted. I had work today and I was determined to go. So I got myself organised and went into work, but boy was I in pain. My feet are unbearably painful. Every time I take a step it's feels like I am walking on crushed glass. They constantly pulse and burn as though I have been out in the freezing cold. My walking was slow and steady today. I made it onto the checkout and stuck it out for two and a half hours. I should have done three but I just couldn't take any more. A colleague asked me why I had come in when I was in so much pain. I thought about it and then thought I would only be sat at home getting frustrated at having given in! It took me a while to walk back from the checkouts to the back of the store, because walking was so painful. My manager let me go though and I have arranged to do an earlier shift on Friday. I was quite emotional when I finished work. I think it was a mixture of pain, frustration and fatigue all rolled into one.
Once I got home, I took painkillers and just tried to relax. But I can't. My feet are driving me crazy. I am at a loss of what to do next. I am on the maximum dose of Tramadol, I have this Butrans patch and I am taking Ibuprofen. Surely there must be something out there that can help me?
I think I may call my MS nurse tomorrow, but I don't always feel as though I get anywhere when I speak to them. That is not meant to disrespect them, but I think I must be such a nightmare for them and they have run out of ideas.
Inside I am screaming. I just need some relief from this.
I apologise that this is such a negative post, I will try and do better tomorrow!